Loss Or Gain...Which One Do You Focus On?



There are two kinds of people…those who go through life looking back and those who go through life looking forward.


I used to be one of the ones who walked backwards. So although I was moving ahead my focus tended to be on what I was leaving behind. These feelings were especially strong as each year would come to an end. On New Year’s Eve I was always a little melancholy with a sense of loss. Even if the year had not been a good one, even if there was a tonne of things about the New Year that I was looking forward to, at midnight I was a little sad.


This was the time in my life when I was living mainly unconsciously and we all know what that means…ego reigns supreme. Ego hates letting anything go. It will convince you that even the worst things, even the most toxic of relationships or the most sabotaging of habits and thoughts are best to hold on to and letting them go would be a loss you can’t withstand.


Of course it thinks this way. It is your centre of fear and lack so it is constantly chanting the mantra..


Not Enough! Not Enough! Not Enough!


If you are getting these subliminal messages from your prime sponsor…ego….then you will-


* Hold onto the person who isn’t healthy for you because there’s ‘not enough’ love in your life as it is so better to have a relationship that huts than to not have one at all.


* Hold onto the job you hate because there’s ‘not enough’ money, skills, confidence, opportunity, support…in your life to leave your job.


* Hold onto the habits that you have long outgrown and ensure that you aren’t ever moving toward where you want to be.


* Even hold onto the extra kg you carry because you are so programmed to hold on and to fear letting go that your body falls in line and continues the practice for you.


Fortunately for a number of years now I belong to the second group of people, those moving through life with a focus on what is to come. That’s not to say that we ignore the present. The present moment is where our power lies so let’s focus on it as much as we can. However when things end, such as a year, let’s focus with excited anticipation on what is to come.


Let that toxic relationship go and feel with relief the space it frees up for a healthier more loving relationship to come sometime in the future. It doesn’t matter when. But it is on its way to you.


Let the ill-fitting clothes, the junk in your garage, the outdated beliefs, the outgrown friends….let them go. Feel the feelings in the present but be a forward facing person. Always trusting there is opportunities ahead. There is expansion on your path.

When you make the space by leaving what is no longer meant for you, you allow all that you desire to make its way into your life. . You make room for all that you daydream about and all that you know, deep down in your heart you really desire to experience.


Backward facing people can’t actually ever experience these things because they miss them. They don’t see them until they have passed the opportunity and it’s already behind them. Forward facing folk see an opportunity for some time before they arrive at it and have plenty of time to make the most of each and every situation.


Walk forward into this New Year and feel the relief of all that is left behind.


All the outgrown and outdated beliefs, experiences and people that simply are not meant for your future. To drag them along with you means nothing can change. To leave them where they are meant to be you make room for the experiences and people that are in your highest good to find you and become part of your life.


How do you feel about the end of a year and the beginning of a new one?


Is it time for a shift for you?



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